A List Of Demands

Since this morning it’s clear from where – in the UK at least – comes the biggest terrorism threat. In step with the theme, here’s my list of demands, and if they are not met, I will continue to point out the many errors in the ways we deal with Muslims in Europe. And that’s a hard threat – sue me.

The Pope - digitally altered to look less benign

1) I demand that books will be published on the subject of Catholicism and how it’s irreconcileable with modern Western culture. I suggest titles like “Eurome” or “The Enemy Within – A Hard Look At The Vatican”. We are lucky to have a Pope with a rather scary mug, so use it like portraits of Ayatollah Khomeiny or Ayman Al-Zawahiri are used.

2) I demand that Web forums, blogs and discussion pages in newspapers be filled with comments about the evils of Catholicism, even when the subject is unrelated. In relation to this, I demand that even formerly leftist papers change their tune to include lots of space for anti-Catholics to spew their venom.

3) I demand that “the left” gets blamed for this. It was that Labour bastard Tony Blair who forged a peace deal between good Christian leaders from the Unionist side and those evil, untrustworthy Catholics from the Republican side who are hell-bent on conquering the world. The Pope’s recent visit to Australia – where some leftwinger recently took over from prime minister John Howard – must also be presented in this light to promote belief in this worldwide conspiracy of clergymen.

4) I demand that common people rise up and refuse to have new Catholic churches built in their neighbourhoods. The towers of such churches are symbols of the power of the Pope and the architecture of these buildings reflects an unwillingness to integrate into the rest of society. Maybe someone should set fire to a small chapel here or there, to send a clear signal to those pernicious Pope-worshippers that they should go back where they bloody well came from.

5) I demand immigration measures – the influx of Catholics into our good, Christian nations must be halted. The EU should preferably get rid of such hotbeds of clerical activism as Ireland, Spain, Portugal, Italy and Poland, and should closely monitor the situation in Belgium, France and the southern half of Germany. But at the very least it should not accept new membership of any predominantly Catholic state.

Of course, these are demands taken straight from the daily practice of our dealings with Muslims. Sure, they come from the extreme corners of society, but some of this has treacled down into the mainstream. Let’s crunch some numbers here to see what the threat really is.

Of the 61 million people of Great Britain (numbers courtesy of the CIA World Factbook), 2.7% are Muslim. That’s roughly 1.65 million. Coincidence has it that the population of Northern Ireland is only slightly bigger than the Muslim population in all of the UK – roughly 1.68 million according to the 2001 census. With Catholics making up 43.76% of the population (same source) that means about 737.000 of them live in Northern Ireland. And these people, in numbers not even half as strong as the Muslims, are currently responsible for 60% of the terrorist threats.

Believe me, I do not advocate any discriminatory measures towards Catholics. But these numbers make perfectly clear where the terror threat emerges: in extremism. Be that Catholic or Muslim extremism, Fascist or Communist extremism or extremist nationalism.That’s what has always threatened open, liberal and democratic societies and that’s what we need to watch. And no, extremism is not a Muslim trademark.

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One Response to A List Of Demands

  1. Sante Brun says:

    You really have a knack of scaring people out of their wits with your apocalyptic views of the world — unfortunately most of the time you hit the nail on the head. I read somewhere last week that we will be lucky if the Maya’s prove right and everything will end on December 23rd, 2012, before our beloved Pope gets the idea to call for a new Crusade against the infidel. I’m sure that in his mind he his been toying with the idea for some time.

    And if the Maya’s made some calculating error, they were only human after all, then surely in fifty years the Earth thanks to the breeding advices by the pope, will be depleted of everything, including basic food; which will be the signal to start eating each other. I for me like them saignant with just a pinch of salt.

    Am I exaggerating? Read the book ‘Collapse’ by Jared Diamond. And by the way: it happened before. Several times. The only difference is: hitherto it didn’t on a global scale. I won’t be around, nor will the Pope, and that’s a pity. Because he would be needed to point out that the Catholic Church was never in favour of cannibalism — with the exception of one case, of course.

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