These days, anything I write here will be Google-translated and read by a 58 year old man from Milton Keynes. He goes through all that trouble because he is determined to continue to remind me of the fact that he knows my ‘real life’ information – which, in the online world of Second Life we both visit, is rarely shared. Every day he drops one or two hints on a forum – hints which indicate knowledge of a severely garbled Google Translate version of these pages.
Inside Second Life he is known as Pserendipity Daniels. When he goes out the door to grab a microwave dinner at the local Tesco’s however, he is known as Gareth Glyndwr Lewis, born in 1954, ex-owner of Pserendipity Ltd. and a host of other tiny companies, none of which have survived his habit of spending all his time hunting down people on the internet.
How do I know this? Our troll, who falsely passes himself off as a Cambridge University laureate, was dumb enough to visit my LinkedIn page. Hello! I didn’t even have to try to find him – our Information Technology specialist presented himself to me on a plate.
So hello Gareth! Aren’t you happy that I saved you the trouble of Google-translating this story? By the way, is this your trollface or do you always look like you’ve just proven yourself smarter than a teenager?
And aren’t you happy that future victims don’t have to search long and hard on the internet before they find out who you are? I am in a helpful mood today, I thought I’d throw them a bone. So next time you succeed in angering someone up to the point where they feel ready to kick your face in – just remember, your address is a just few clicks away.
And you know what the best part is? My address isn’t.